The Irish Rovers - The Unicorn Song

When the books go to film I would love to use their music...

This Unicorn Changed the Way I Poop - #SquattyPotty

Do they think this doesn't affect my work?

Happy Thanksgiving...

Functional Vape Artwork...

Do you vape? Have any broken tips? I can repair them into a functional one of a kind artwork for twenty dollars made by an Authoress. The current style is a Tree Person with eyes of your choice while they last. It also glows in the dark. Contact me on Facebook for details such as where to drop off and pick up your repaired vape tube Tree Person. They allow for more vape as I hand craft a large chamber above. For lasting care please refill them through the tip. They may leak a little oil though they are guaranteed to function. I will also be selling glass vape tube holders to prevent oil from touching table surfaces in your home for five dollars...

Beware of Poison...

If you decide to eat this treat, beware. Part of the name includes the word "poison". Though from a trusted park it could be dangerous. You don't want your children to think poison is edible. Due to the fact that I write fictional books about trees. This caught my eye as potential danger. Not to mention the fact that it deters potential sales. There is also Angry Orchard that my family does not benefit from. Oh, did anyone see the new film with Nana and Pa. That can't be helping either. I saw the trailer and though I have seen films like that before. I would not spend my hard earned cash to see it. All of that being said. The purpose of this post is to ask you to "Beware of Posion". I hope you appreciate my saving you from future problems. Though no one is helping me. After all, what would an Authoress know about words? Please note my sarcasm... Below is a picture of the Apple Pie Sundae Poison Apple at Disney. Do you think children should be taught it is okay to eat poison? As a writer who works with words for a living. This is not intelligent at all. If the parent were to suggest it is okay to eat said apple. Perhaps the child would go on thinking it is okay to eat things with the word "poison". Please be sure to have a discussion with your children about what is safe to eat and what is not safe to eat. I would like to prevent future accidents while raising awareness of this topic. So please, please, "Beware of Poison"...

Another Western Diamondback Rattlesnake?

Caught my third Western Diamondback Rattlesnake...

Praying Mantis...

This little guy was praying to go outside. I caught and released the little bugger. He didn't want to get off my hand. I think he liked me...

Second Rattlesnake killing...

Well no harm came to my pets or anyone else. I just finished catching and killing a Rattlesnake that was hiding in my pumpkin patch. Thank God no one or nothing was hurt except it. This is the second Rattlesnake I have caught and killed all by myself with the Lord's help. I do not recommend trying to do what I did. Though I did do it for safety purposes...

Lori's Book Signing 09.MOD

April 23rd 2015 Lassie, Shadow, and Clover the Singing Dogs

Please pray for my son...

My only son had his wisdom teeth removed today. My only daughter has been with him trying to help him at his dad's place. I left him some soup. I had my wisdom teeth out so I know it is easier to eat soup when you are missing teeth. Also saltwater without swishing more of just letting it set where the gaping wounds are will help it heal faster. I am praying as well... Thank you!

Our missing singing dogs...

Lassie and Shadow went missing after Lucy. Lucy was pictured with the birds in an earlier post(For the Birds). I have reason to believe they were stolen. It is also possible that a coyote got them. It breaks my heart... The Large dog Clover is okay. Probably because they couldn't pick him up without being noticed. Chica a stray I found is also okay. She doesn't sing. The little dogs Lassie the Chihuahua, and Shadow the Pomeranian are pictured below singing with Clover the Black Labrador Retriever. Lassie disappeared today after spending the whole morning with me... Pictures will be following... I am having difficulty posting them and video here though it is on my Facebook page... If you have any information please contact me there...

La lune du jour...

I took this photograph the other day from the same property where my grandma Gertrude lived. It is also where my family currently lives. The moon was out during the day next to the large Bull Pine...

Tin Man Pocket Ashtray...

Cleaner, greener, smell and smoke free pocket ashtray made by Authoress of Tales of the Tree People, Professional Parenting, and The Lori Story! :) <3 There are different models available for sale at Chieffin Fatties Smoke Shop in Coarsegold California. If you choose to have them professionally cleaned and restored you may return them to the location listed above. Dependant on the repair the price may vary. More models will be available later at varying prices... If you need to contact Lori you may at... (559) 676-6097 or Chieffin Fatties Smoke Shop at...(559)683-5604 Thank you for supporting a cleaner, greener way of smoking...

Happy Earth Day and Administrative Professionals Day!

Tin Man Things...

I've been working on some tin man things. Here are a few pictures including the Tin Man Nail Protector I used to type this with a broken nail below the quick painlessly. I also made a Tin Man Pen, a work knife and chopsticks protector. I am working on a whole line of Tin Man Things... If you are interested in Tin Man Things contact me...

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Creepy?

Creepy isn't always bad. Watch where you step! If someone stepped on you wouldn't you defend yourself! You would have a right if you did! Here is some footage of a Tarantula I got to see! It's almost as if it said that to me...

Favorite?

Though I have a hard time eating Taco Bell because my ex-husband and I met there. I do occasionally anyway. It is one of the healthier fast food places to eat. I went to one of their locations the other day and grabbed a sauce packet out of the bag upon receiving my food. Here is a picture of the sauce packet... In my book Professional Parenting I discuss favorites and why they shouldn't exist. If you have a bunch of kids and you tell one they are your favorite, you are a bad parent. Stating something like, "My favorite color is blue" is silly because without the other colors, how would you know? You need them all to know what a color is. If a teacher has a pet, all the other students will be jealous. So in reality having favorites causes problems. What are the chances of a former employer of mine writing something like that on a sauce packet? Think of all the people they are subliminally affecting both in their ability to write, and their values. The sauce packet says, "I knew I was your favorite". I don't have favorites. If they could read they would know. I already addressed that topic. Not only is it written in past tense. It isn't punctuated entirely properly. They did punctuate the word "fire" though if it is read correctly inside the building someone could be arrested. Not to mention the chaos that could ensue. So someone gets paid to think of what to say on the sauce packets that can't punctuate properly. They are also suspicious due to the fact that they write in past tense while assuming the taste of the reader and affecting them subliminally. If I were one of those evil people who play favorites and I'm not. How would they know if the sauce stopped being a favorite to someone? Is it okay to suggest that favorites are okay? I already stated I don't play those like some people do. When addressing the past tense issue, what do they mean "I was"? The silly sauce packet isn't even open yet. They are all the same packets amongst the fire sauce except the wording. Unless of course you switch from "fire" to "mild". In which case the packets look different and are labeled differently. Even then there are duplicates amongst sauces. How could someone have a favorite amongst the same sauce? Are they really talking about the sauce? I am an Authoress now, though I used to work there. I must say I am displeased with the fact that they write on their packets assuming what others think while subliminally affecting them. I wrote about assuming but do you think they read? It is obvious they aren't very good at it or it would show in their writing. Their words go against my work as an Authoress and former employee. They should be thankful one of their former employees went on to be an Authoress. They should be supportive and encouraging instead of deliberately writing things to antagonize while affecting good judgement subliminally. Encouraging favorites is so wrong. Even if it seems harmless it is subliminally teaching bad values and improper grammar. God is no respecter of persons. He loves them all equally and unconditionally. Though some think otherwise. It seems like some sneaky employee read my book and did it on purpose. I am not typically for suing people though I would love to sue them. It doesn't just affect my family and I it affects humanity as a whole. It suggests that such behavior is okay. It is as if they wrote what they wrote just to go against what I had said in my book Professional Parenting about "favorites". The damage is done subliminally to all kinds of people. Needless to say I think Taco Bell could use a new writer.

In case you missed it...

What is taboo to one is not to another. Being able to relate to one another is a gift. Instead of being afraid of the unknown, one should be thankful for the opportunity to be educated. Philanthropists often travel the path less ventured. Be thankful for them and how they might enrich your life with their knowledge...

RoseMary Soap

Here is a picture of the soap I have affectionately named RoseMary Soap because it contains extracts of Rosemary and Mary Jane...

Homemade Hemp, Incense Matches and Perfume...

Here is a picture of the homemade incense matches I'm making. I will be adding pictures of the hemp matches and solid perfumes as well... My father explained to me when I was old enough to smoke that smoking with matches is healthier than using a lighter. God bless him for the knowledge. He is my inspiration for making the homemade matches... Here is a picture of the hemp matches I'm making... Here is a picture of some of the solid perfumes I've made for when one is finished smoking in a healthy fashion. Contact me if you are interested...

Weezer - Pork And Beans

You know my stance on caring... :)

Mushroom Madness...

This is so upsetting. Someone with a sick mind made these up. I write about fictional things. Tales of the Tree People is my successful trilogy thus far. Major Mushroom being one of my characters this is extremely offensive. Too big for a pocket, and Art People Gallery on Facebook could be making money off of making me look bad. He is not a penis shaped mushroom book. I do not want my work associated with these things. This also takes one of the characters I've already created for my next book and ruins the surprise of a much classier character. The newer classier character looks nothing like these and isn't a mushroom he's a tree. Major Mushroom already exists and this is not at all how I see the character. I am disgusted by how much they look like something else and to top it off there's a book on top. It isn't funny at all. I do not want anyone to see these things and think of my work. The problem is I already saw these sick things. I am so mad. I work hard for my family and for anyone to think of my work being associated with these monstrosities is atrocious. If you could please help me figure out how to boycott and remove such a product I will be ever so grateful. I am thinking about suing them for embarrassing me for something I had nothing to do with. I hope that you will help me protect my writing by stopping these people. Please contact me if you have any information or can help me with this in any way. I do not like having to blog about this though it feels as though I don't have any choice if I want to stop them from ruining the way people think of my work... Alone and up close they look embarrassing to the male gender... In a group they aren't as bad from far away. Though I can't help but be offended and wonder about safety and association with the product with the way they look. I don't want to have anything to do with these things and they are being flaunted in my face... If you can help me put a stop to this madness. I will greatly appreciate it...

Hazard pay?

Here is video of one of the Western Diamondbacks I had to deal with myself. I turned it into a necklace... Here is a picture of another one of the hazards I delt with last year. The snake pictured ate one of my beloved White Leghorns. The unthankful thief of a snake regurgitated it before it left the planet. I thought it was a Diamondback until after I caught it. I thought you might enjoy knowing what I've been through catching snakes for chickens...

For the birds fully grown...

Here is a picture of their offspring the first year. The following pictures are of the fully grown birds...